Hi, I am Pablo Rothschild and I am running to represent you as President of the United States.
I’d like to talk about a certain word; ambition. Ambition is a desire for activity or exertion, or to achieve a particular end. Ambition is what gets you out of bed in the morning when it is the day of prom and you haven’t been asked. Ambition kicks the soccer ball into the upper right corner in overtime. Ambition gave R2D2 the push to free Sean Silvia from abduction. Ambition is what wins a presidency. Now you might look at me and say, “Oh, I know Pablo”. He is the candidate that has been actively posting “memes” on twitter. Or you might say that he is the only candidate that has dedicated a majority of his time to social media knowing that is the way to reach out to you. Maybe you are thinking, I’ve seen him before, hasn’t he already been in politics. Or you might be thinking, Pablo is the only candidate with the experience to lead this nation. I have served as a congressman from Utah and was appointed to the Treasury under the last presidency. A stark contrast to Koki whose only political experience is by cuddling up to Russia and Tiger who nuzzles against a slot machine. I understand there has been a lot of noise in this campaign. There have been a lot of voices telling you “I’ve won too much”. And you know what? I don’t care. I ignore this “he said she said” business. I don’t focus on that. What I do focus on is you, and winning this election. The media’s job is to report the problems and “flaws” of my campaign, they like to talk, but I don’t listen to them. I listen to you. I’ve got great endorsements and an amazing team surrounding me that allow me to look forward and keep pushing. With their guidance I have poured my heart into this campaign reassuring your trust and my desire to fight for you. I know most of your support right now lies with Rory. I’ll be honest, he is a great candidate and the polls have shown that. He is like a shark, quietly roaming the ocean, feeding on the brilliant team he has produced. Me, well I am a killer whale. The ones that you go on a big boat and take your binoculars and whale watch for to see my big splash. You know what happens when a shark sees a killer whale? It swims deep into the ocean, scared of the whale’s pride and ambition. My ambition is what will reform our education system. My ambition will ensure that our children, the future of this great nation, get the education they deserve. I pledge to dedicate my time in office to our children. As most of you heard from my scandal, I have a little boy living out in Montezuma, Utah. In my statement to the press you heard that I always put aside time to speak with him and to connect. I’ve heard the problems about our educational system from a child. Isn’t that the best source anyone could ask for? In fact, for the rest of this speech, I’d like to go deep into my plans for repairing the current broken education system. As a parent I understand the hardships of watching your kid stress over school and the current college system. I’ll admit it, I am scared about the college process. I bet you are too. Who wouldn't be scared of low acceptance rates and insane prices. But you know what, being scared is ok. Being scared is what fuels my ambition, where it heats up and emerges in boiling rage. Why?! How could they demand so much money for such a basic need?! I promise you that in the first 100 days of my term, an education reform bill will be passed into law. I’d like to take time to explain the outline of this legislation and where we will get the funding. The Collegiate Success Act, as I call it, will increase funding to public colleges to bring them up to the same level as private institutions. That way more students will have affordable access to top notch education. Let's take a look at Finland. According to Business Insider, Finland has one of the best education systems in the world, with 66% of students attending college, the highest rate in all of Europe. Also, (I’m quoting them) “93% of Finns graduate from high school, a whopping 17.5% higher than the US rate. All teachers are required to have master’s degrees, and most importantly, all education from top to bottom is nationally-funded. We plan to use a hybrid plan based on Finland’s system called the Collegiate Success Plan in which we funnel money to public schools, vastly improving the quality of facilities and allowing teachers access to more tools for quality teaching. This will cause the somewhat nonexistent competition between public and state schools to skyrocket, and as private and public universities work off of each other, only the best will remain. This plan doesn’t mean anything without a reliable source of funding, which brings me to my tax plan. The recent polls suggest that my forward and progressive tax plan is highly favorable. As president, I will implement greater taxation on the rich, so money can be supplied to programs like the Collegiate Success Plan and other welfare agendas, like our specific environmental programs, The Harmful Waste Disposal Plan and the Total Conservation Plan. These programs, along with others, will completely transform the landscape of American politics for the better.
For more information, I encourage you to learn about my platform and my highly respectable endorsements. I hope you now understand my ambition to better your lives because who really matters in the end is you.
Thank you!
Works Cited
Taylor, Adam. "26 Amazing Facts About Finland's Unorthodox Education System."
Business Insider, 14 Dec. 2011, www.businessinsider.com/
finland-education-school-2011-12. Accessed 19 Dec. 2016.
Brad Pitt: Brad Pitt is an famous humanitarian and environmentalist. His most famous project for the environment was when he teamed up with Global Green USA to work on a environmental friendly housing project in New Orleans. He worked to make new houses affordable and energy efficient. He has recently expressed interest in our campaign’s plans to help reduce pollution, and has graciously donated $2,000 to our cause.
The Education Trust: A national non-profit organization, The Education Trust prides itself on ensuring “high academic achievement for all students at all levels, particularly for students of color and low-income students”. The company works alongside parents, policymakers, and business leaders by using local, state, and national data to repair holes in our education system. It’s no wonder that the organization has donated $50,000 to our campaign.
George Clooney: George Clooney, as well as being one of the most successful actors of our generation who recently appeared in “Money Monster,” is also a strong advocate for helping syrian refugees. He was jubilant when he first saw our plan for the syrian refugees and insisted on giving us a helping hand. Trust me, we didn’t need the money; however, we were happy to allow George to join our noble cause in the fight to provide aid and asylum to Syrian refugees. He generously donated around $1000 dollars to our campaign.
Lebron James: Mr. James, a very wealthy yet extremely charitable man, recently expanded his charity to college campuses. In August of 2015, Mr. James announced, “his foundation will pair up with the University of Akron and will fully sponsor more than 1,000 scholarships for children”. This generous act of kindness showed the world that he cares very much about affordable, quality education for all. Pablo Rothschild’s campaign has been in communication with Mr. James and he has offered $25,000 to his PAC. They share many of the same qualities and policy points. Pablo has spoken out for affordable tuition and has gone in depth on the tax reforms that would promote the funds for it. Pablo and Lebron will keep a constant dialogue and will be meeting each other to discuss education reform and to showcase Pablo’s basketball talent.
Works Cited
"Advocacy & Legislative Affairs - The Education Trust." The Education Trust. The
Education Trust, n.d. Web. 09 Dec. 2016
Byrnes, Hayley. "LeBron James Will Pay for More than 1,000 Kids to Go to College."
SBNation.com. SBNation, 14 Aug. 2015. Web. 09 Dec. 2016.
"Refugees: Celebrity Campaigners." Look to the Stars. N.p., n.d. Web. 09 Dec. 2016.
"5 Inspiring Things Brad Pitt Has Done for Humankind - Borgen Project." The Borgen
Project. N.p., 16 Feb. 2016. Web. 09 Dec. 2016.
PABLO FOR PREZ
Pablo Rothschild's statement on scandal allegations 12/7
The allegations concerning Pablo’s second family in Utah have been vicious and diabolical. Our campaign understands how this might be concerning for many Americans and would like to dispel any concerns.
Pablo served as congressman for his district for many years before getting appointed to the treasury under the last presidency. Living in Utah, the he developed a longterm relationship with a girl and they had a son. There were some rough patches in their relationship and broke up a few years ago. Since then, Pablo has remarried but has been there financially and emotionally for his ex and son. He continues to visit them every month, but while on the campaign trail communication has been rocky. His current family is completely aware of his past and have met with his second family on multiple occasions; they have shared holidays together. Both families have come to terms and accepted this way of life. Pablo is not sure why they are calling out to the media currently, because both families have come to terms and accepted this way of life.
Press Statements and Transripts
The allegations concerning Pablo’s second family in Utah have been vicious and diabolical. Our campaign understands how this might be concerning for many Americans and would like to dispel any concerns.
Pablo served as congressman for his district for many years before getting appointed to the treasury under the last presidency. Living in Utah, the he developed a longterm relationship with a girl and they had a son. There were some rough patches in their relationship and broke up a few years ago. Since then, Pablo has remarried but has been there financially and emotionally for his ex and son. He continues to visit them every month, but while on the campaign trail communication has been rocky. His current family is completely aware of his past and have met with his second family on multiple occasions; they have shared holidays together. Both families have come to terms and accepted this way of life. Pablo is not sure why they are calling out to the media currently, because both families have come to terms and accepted this way of life.
Pablo Rothschild's Speech 12/8
Hi my name is Pablo Rothschild and I'm running to represent you as President of the United States.
My campaign is more than just letters on paper or words on a screen. It goes beyond that. I like to think of my campaign as a collection of voices. Your voices. Many other candidates excel at trivial things like speaking or writing; I, winning. But it will not just be me who wins, it will be you.
Now today I am going to follow in the footsteps of a character in the famous novel, All the King’s Men, Willie Stark’s (2). Instead of putting you to sleep with an endless wave of statistics, I am here to appeal to your emotions. Specifically two: ambition and empathy. By ambition I mean that I have the will and drive to fight for what is right, and for you. By empathy I mean that I care about this country, and my fight will be for you (4). Furthermore, as Willie always said, “from the stink of the didie (die di) to the stench of the shroud, there is always something.” I will uncover this something and expose my shoddy opposition candidates for who they are at heart: That is, the losers of this campaign. In this race, I am George Washington, and in my opposition I see only Mitt Romneys, Richard Nixons, and BCC Barons.
Since I was a young boy, I have been fortunate enough to travel across all of our vast oceans and to many culturally rich countries. Having personally visited 5 out of the 7 continents, I have had the opportunity to learn about other countries’ lavish and enlightening cultures. On one of my many trips to rebuild Latin America, I spent a couple weeks in a local village that could not be located on a map, GPS, or on your smartphone. This was an eyeopening experience for me and taught me the value of the American dream. I remember one overcast afternoon, I was sitting down with the locals eating our daily beans, rice, and plantains. We were discussing the bombardment of United States aid in their town and neighboring villages. We discussed and debated till the bright sun set over the mystic mountains about a strong strategy for U.S. aid. I believe and plan to set forth a program that has been supported in the most recent polls. I will not force our supplements into foreign nations, but will rather offer them to our close allies and regions where their success will help boost our economy. For those of you that do not already know, I am endorsed by Professor Keyser. She is known around the outskirts of DC for her experience with international relations and her expertise with foreign policy. We have discussed about my platform for great length and I have her full support and I have adapted some of her principles into my campaign and foreign strategy. As president, one must be a voice for everyone in the country. We also will continue to accept refugees from Syria with the current 12-18 month screening period. Our administration agree with the guidelines set out by Montesquieu that people are naturally good, but we understand there are those occasional Tony Montanas. In general, these are people who need help and as the statue of liberty says: “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” We have a moral obligation to help those in need, and I will satisfy it. As for ISIS, we will continue to collaborate with our Middle-Eastern allies to contain and eventually eliminate them without putting boots on the ground. We will defend our values with firmness. We will stand by our allies with grit. And we will maintain a strong presence on the global stage without becoming warhawks.
Now let me talk about the economy. Where money is not in the hands of consumers; there, the economy does not flourish; there, the hard working lower and middle classes do not flourish; there, only the one percent flourish. I am here to make sure that does not happen. I am here to put money into consumers’ pockets. Into your pockets. I will accomplish this through the implementation of a progressive tax that will increase taxes on the rich, provide tax cuts on small businesses to put more money in your hands, and help spur the economy. An increased income tax on the wealthy will also help provide revenue for welfare programs. I believe that when the middle class is successful, America is successful.
Some may think money and prestige are vital to succeed; Our campaign believes it is our children. Students are the backbone of our nation and public education allows adolescents of all income levels to be given the same platform towards success. There are two main questions regarding education for our nation: how to fund state universities and how to fix so-called high school "dropout factories." A highschool “dropout” factory is when 60% of the freshman class does not make it to senior year. Currently, this impacts 1 in every 10 high schools. States need to build data systems to keep track of students throughout their school career and more accurately measure the dropout rates. These strong progress goals for graduation rates will be imposed on schools that miss the benchmark. I am endorsed by Mr. Jerome Easton, a nationally announced education expert who served as our previous president’s Secretary of Education. He has graciously offered his resources and expertise to my presidency and together we have set the goal to rebuild our education system. Furthermore, college needs to be more affordable for our students, but they must show hard work and commitment to be applicable. Numerous studies have shown a college education and degree greatly progress someone’s success. Your success is the economy’s success, which is this nation’s success. Success only comes before work in the dictionary. We are here to do that work.
Obamacare. While it may be an admittedly rocky subject, I would like to take a little time to focus on it. I will continue Obamacare due to all the good it has done to provide healthcare for families in need. In fact according to U.S Department of Health and Human Services, Obamacare has an estimated 20 million more people covered by health care than before. However, I know it is not a perfect system and has many flaws, but that is why my campaign and I will work tirelessly to expand and improve upon it.
Lastly, let’s talk about the environment. The amount of damage that we as humans have inflicted upon our environment is almost irreparable, and . The planet that we live on is packed with interesting wildlife, and useful resources, and sprawling landscapes, but each day we continue to abuse it, draining it without letting it replenish. What’s more, we pollute the environment to the point where in some places, it is literally dangerous to breathe. According to the New York Times, Chinese air pollution caused 366,000 premature deaths in 2016. Thankfully, I have a way to address this damage. Other candidates always feed you the same nonsense; we will “expand” our environmental programs; we will “ensure the best for future generations”. I’m not here to say these redundant words like everyone else. My Harmful Waste Disposal Plan and my Total Conservation Strategy give me an actual foundation to build my environmental policies and protect our nation’s treasures, while the others are built on slippery slopes of sand. I encourage you to learn more about these policies on my website.
I hope you will seize this opportunity, not just for yourselves, but for this amazing country. Thank you.
Works Cited
"Healthcare Estimates." U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, 3 Mar. 2016,
www.hhs.gov. Accessed 6 Dec. 2016.
Wong, Edward. "Coal Burning Causes the Most Air Pollution Deaths in China, Study
Finds." The New York Times, 17 Aug. 2016, www.nytimes.com/. Accessed 6 Dec.
2016.
"1 in 10 U.S. High Schools Is a ‘dropout Factory’." NBCNews.com. NBCUniversal News Group,
29 Oct. 2007. Web. 06 Dec. 2016.
Our Campaign Memes
Pablo Rothschild's Financial Disclosures 12/12
Pablo Rothschild's Endorsement Explanations 12/12
As we proceed with our campaign, we are happy to announce that we are currently finalizing our endorsements. Dr. Goodwin, Professor Keyser, Mr. Easton, and Mrs. Holloway to name a few.
Esteemed principal Dr. Alan Goodwin, has graciously expressed his support of our campaign. A shining pillar of our community, he represents the great efforts our campaign makes to connect and help communities across the country. However, our endorsements also go above and beyond Goodwin alone.
Professor Keyser, unrivaled in her expertise in foreign policy and well known for her abundant knowledge of foreign relations, has recently donated to our cause. Due to her strong relationship with Pablo, she has also offered advice and to work with him to further our foreign policy. She is multilingual and may potentially serve as a strong ambassador.
Yet another endorsement comes from Mr. Jerome Easton, an expert in the field of education. Eagerly endorsing our campaign on day one of the race, the assistant principal is extremely enthusiastic when it comes to supplying our campaign with advice and information. No doubt this eagerness comes from a deep inner faith that Pablo 2016 is the right way to vote, especially when it comes to rebuilding our education policy.
Laurie Safran is a renowned leader in politics on the outskirts of DC. She has taken the responsibility of guiding local youth who have the potential of leading our country. She was chosen for this task because of her past experiences with education and leadership. She has served as a foreign policy advisor and has traveled all over the world to engage and learn about the vast number of rich cultures. She has taught kids with special needs and will help Pablo lead the fight for awareness about these mental illnesses.
Sheryl Freedman is a psychology major and political science minor from North Carolina University at Chapel Hill. She served as the chair of the Leadership Committee at her university and has taken this experience to her career. She has guided enthused adolescents to become successful leaders and has been the backbone of many of our country's major events, laws, and social change. Pablo was once her pupil in her youth leadership system and has endorsed him because she knows he will “bring trust and change to Washington”. Mrs. Freedman has also offered her guidance to his campaign and fully supports his policies and ideas.
Michelle Holloway has endorsed our campaign as well. A mathematics major and genius, Holloway’s endorsement is not given easily, especially to those who lack the intellect to get things done in America. Furthermore, no one, and I mean no one, has a stronger work ethic than Mrs. Holloway. Her faith in our campaign is reflected in our unending dedication to improving the lives of Americans everywhere.
Business Entrepreneur and Wall Street Wolf Demitra Marafatsos as put her trust into Pablo’s campaign and has offered her financial expertise to his administration. Throughout her financial career, she has gained background on investments and has precisely only invested in companies that are located in America. We plan to support her ethics and offer incentives for oversea companies to come back home. Not only is Ms. Marafatsos a business powerhouse for our campaign, she is also greek and will help guide us with foreign relations. It ain’t always easy to convince a greek!
To all who have endorsed us, we sincerely thank you. We hope to see your support and faith in our campaign continue into the future as we transform the political landscape of America.